Be Gentle

I have been foraying into the bushes and under growth that border my journey of parenthood. Meaning, I have been venturing off the calm, tranquil path into the frenzy of negative emotions particularly frustration and anger.

Having been overseas on my OWN for 11 days, experiencing a myriad of magical moments, did leave me with a short fuse over the last week. I was extremely happy to see my children and delighted in who they were, for an afternoon..... Then the routine of school drop offs, homework, housework, paid work and the usual juggle took over and my tranquility got lost somewhere between the lunch boxes and the washing machine.

During a conversation with my husband over dinner last night, followed up with a sequel over breakfast this morning, it came to me, that in order to do the best by my darling son I could follow the mantra "be gentle". Our eldest is a dreamy boy. Doesn't listen particularly well (selective hearing), only manages to do those things that he is really interested in,  first response to any idea is "no thank you", chooses the path of least resistance, and would sit all day in front of a screen (television, wii, ds, iPhone) if you let him. He also doesn't seem to respond terribly well to my ranting and raving. He just becomes more introverted and distant albeit slightly more compliant. It doesn't help him learn how to be better. I have heard him of late saying things to his younger sister that have come out of my mouth and, man, they sound terrible!

So my plan is to get back on the path. Accept that he is what he is. And who he is now is not a reflection of who he will become. Be gentle in my directions to him to see if he in turn will be gentle to his sister. I believe that the world needs more love so surely I can control my emotional state in order to be more loving to my son in the hopes that he will be more loving.

My mother has always said, "you can only pour in the love and know that it will come out again someday." Truly unconditional. My mantra - "be gentle". And I guess that includes being gentle to myself.