Desire

I am back in the realm of 'patience acceptance'. As muttered about in previous blogs, I have been unwell for a while and this has resulted in a reduction of my (and my family's) living standards. I have had to accept that the house will be a bit of a mess, not all the "jobs" on my list will get done and that after dinner, I stop. Completely. We are talking couch potato like the Superbowl/AFL Grandfinal is on and I am a bloke with a bag of chips and slab of beer.

In order to be able to do this with any kind of sanity, I have had to be accepting of my situation. I have also spent a lot of time considering what life is really about and I am here to remind you of that age old truth, it is NOT about having an immaculate house. It is about cuddles, tickles, laughter, monoply, boggle, tantrums, teeth brushing, good food, dancing, singing off key, making up stories, and general pandemonium and mayhem.

I have been reading my Buddhism for Mothers with Lingering Questions (Sarah Napthali) again and resonate with the belief that it is not our DESIRE for an immaculate house, organised life, polite children (add your own one here) that is our problem, it is how hard we hang on to that desire that is the root of all evil. It is how desperately we cling to our aspirations that makes us unhappy. When I find myself getting all worked up because things aren't perfect the way I want them to be, I flick a switch in my mind and say "oh well, it is what it is". I can do this purely because I know that by grasping for this perfection I am making myself unhappy. Guaranteed my children and husband do not care if there are dirty dishes in the sink. But they do care if I am not present, happy and full of the joy of life.

You choose!